Three COBOL Hackers

	C
	Three COBOL programmers quarrelled

	F	C
One	night in the local	bar

	C
	Each one claimed that his payroll job

	G7	C
Was	fastest of all by	far.

C

So number your decks, you hackers

F C

The keypunch is down the hall

C

Bring on the bugs, you lazy slugs,

G7 C

Mine's the quickest of all.

The first said ``Mine is the quickest

It's obvious at first sight

We load up the tapes on Wednesday noon

And finish by Thursday night.''

The second said ``Mine is faster

The database stays on line

We fire it up at eight am

And finish by half-past nine.''

The third one said ``You pikers,

You're starting your runs too soon--

The job that we run in the morning's done

By the previous afternoon.''