Uncle Ernie's

Lyrics © 1985 Stephen Savitzky. CC-by-nc-sa To the tune of ``Finnegan's Wake'' (traditional).

Inspired by a now-defunct surplus joint in Oakland called Mike Quinn's.


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Am G Am G C
  When Babbage's Birth day  rolls  ar ound
G Am G Em G
We hold  our  annu al  Shop ping Spree
Am Em Am Em C
With  every C- P-  U   you  buy
G Am G Am G C
Get a flop py  disk  comp lete ly  free!
G7 Am
We've acres of used compu ters  here
C G7 Am
The  biggest selection  in the  land
C G C G Am
At  prices from  just  fif ty  cents
G Am G Am G C
  To  seven hundred  and  fift grand!
Am G Am G C
  It's Uncle Ern ie's  Used  Com puter
Am G Am G Em G
  Babba ge's  Birth day  barg ain bash
Am Em Am G C
  Once-in-a-life time  disc ount  deals
G Am G Am G7 C
All sales  are  final  and  strict ly c ash!

We've Altairs, Imsais, Apple Threes
And PC Juniors by the score
And if you fancy something big
A mainframe's only slightly more!
Take that 7090 there,
Such magtape drives did y'ever see?
And whether it runs with tape or cards
Get a floppy disk completely free!

If energy bills are out of sight
Don't sit and shiver in the cold
To help you beat the cost of heat
We're offering real-time control.
Straight from the nuclear industry
Here's a real hot number just for you
It glows in the dark a little so
It makes a dandy night-light too!

Now in the robot section here
We've Heathkit Heros by the score
And a couple of custom models that
Were only used in one star war!
Robbie here is a great machine
Did you ever see such a friendly face?
The price is very low because
We found him drifting lost in space!

Most of the chords notated as \chord{G} are actually played xxDGBx, i.e. just the three open strings of the G chord. In other words, fake it.

In case you were wondering, Charles Babbage was born on December 26, 1792. He invented the stored-program digital computer, which he called the Analytical Engine. The Analytical Engine was also the first unfinished computer project. Contrary to popular belief, the mechanical precision of the time was quite capable of producing it, but Babbage kept changing the design and eventually ran out of funding. It's an old story.