Steve.Savitzky.net/Songs/tbears/ [pdf]

Teddy Bears' Victory

Lyrics © 1983 Stephen Savitzky. Creative Commons by-nc-sa License Some Rights Reserved. .
To the tune of ``Teddy Bears' Picnic''

If you go out in the woods today
  you'd better not dress in white
If you go out in the woods today
  you're in for an awful fight
'cause every Ewok ever there was
  is waiting there with weapons because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears fight the Empire.
See the little Ewoks there,
  led by C3PO
  they're creeping through the woods today
Catch storm troopers unawares,
  and set the Rebels free to win the day
See them gaily lay about,
  They love to slay and shout
  they never have any cares. 
They may be armed with arrows and bows
  but they're still deadly foes 
Because they're fierce little Teddy Bears.
If you go out in the woods today
  you're in for an awful shock.
You may get tripped on a hidden vine
  or crushed by a flying rock
The Ewoks may be terribly cute
  but they are armed and know how to shoot
Today's the day the Teddy Bears fight the Empire.
Bolas, spears and catapults
  they really get results
  stormtroopers are getting chased around.
Ropes and pits and swinging logs
  are sending walkers sprawling on the ground
What good are those laser-guns
  they're outnumbered ten to one
  the Empire's running scared!
When evening comes they'll dance and they'll sing
  and celebrate victory 
Because they're brave little Teddy Bears.

I wasn't the only one to think this up; the LA FilkHarmonics beat me to it. Oh, well...


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