The Mad Hacker of Sunnyvale

Lyrics © 1985 Stephen Savitzky. CC-by-nc-sa. To the tune of ``The Blind Harper of Lochmaben'' (trad.)

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Oh	do	you	know a	silly	mad hacker

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Who lives in	the	town of	Sun	nyv	ale

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And	how he went to	IB	M

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To tap	their	electronic	mail.

But first he went to old Ma Bell

Even as fast as he could go

``This hack'' qouth he ``will never work

Without a modem for my phone.''

So he has bought a little modem

And hooked it to his telephone

And his own computer would answer calls

Whenever he was away from home.

And he has bought a little key-pad

That could make the tones both low and high

To talk to the modem on his phone

And he's hidden it inside his tie.

Then he has studied PL/1

And cut his hair and shav\`ed too

And he's put on a three-piece suit

And gone off to an interview.

And when he got to IBM

He said ``I can program PL/1

So show me what your system's like

And I will tell you what I've done.''

The interviewer he turned 'round

To the console sitting by his side

The hacker looked over his shoulder

To catch the password that he typed.

And after the demo it was done

They both got up to their feet

The interviewer said ``It's time

I got us both a bite to eat.''

And when they got to the restaurant

The hacker gave a little groan;

He said ``I have to call my wife--

Please wait here while I use the phone.''

He called and used his little key-pad

To send the password down the line

And then went back and ate his lunch

And drank the restaurant's best wine.

He thanked the man from IBM

And said ``I'll keep your job in mind.''

And then drove home to his own computer

Without a stop to look behind.

So now he's reading Big Blue's mail

And knows what their next move will be.

He writes expensive market surveys

And sells them to AT&T.