Can't Get It Up

© 1990 Stephen Savitzky. CC-by-nc-sa.

Lyrics [pdf]

Slow waltz time, C&W style.

Asus2 A
  I went  into my office this morning;
D A
The com puter had croaked over night.
D A
The  screen looked like subway graff iti,
E7
The disk crashed when I turned on the  light.
A
The re pairman came in; he was baffled;
D A
He  swapped every board in his  pack,
D A
Then  went out in search of an  expert,
E7 A
With no  mention of when he'd be  back.
D5 E7 D A
Hey,  Bartender, bring  me  bottle,
D A
And I'll  hope, as I swill down my  beer
D5 E7 D A
He can  get my machine  up  and  running
E7 A
At  least maybe sometime this  year.
A Asus2 A Asus4 A E7
  Some time  this year, some time  this  year;
D5 E7 D A
He can  get my machine  up  and  running
E7 A
At  least maybe sometime this  year.

Asus4 E7 E7 E6 E7 A Asus4 E E6 E7
 
Have you heard the bad news about NASA:
They have troubles on Earth and in space;
Once they raced to the moon in one decade,
Now they're not even running in place.
They're hitching their rides from the Russians
To a station that leaks like a sieve
And it looks like soon Congress will tell them
That they have no more money to give.
Hey, Bartender, pour me some whiskey,
And I'll wish as I lift up my glass
That NASA would learn from the Phoenix,
How to light fire under its ass.

Last night after work I met Gladys
In a bar at the local hotel.
She said, ``My husband Joe was a good man
But lately he ain't doin' well;
He's getting all old and decrepit,
And now when I take him to bed,
Where he used to be hot for my loving,
He just snores and rolls over instead.''
Hey, Bartender, brew me some coffee,
And I'll drink with the dregs in my cup
To all those unfortunate losers
Who sometimes just can't it up!

D A A*